Relationship Articles
Making a relationship work
This topic may raise many eyebrows but the fact is that every human incarnation on this earth is constantly on a hunt for a magical substance that can make his or her relationship worth being in. Now, this search may either be done consciously or unconsciously.
You must have heard about the divine magic potion in the play "Midsummer night's dream" by Shakespeare. This potion developed the feeling of love in the heart of one who drinks it, for the person he/she sees first.
However, we are living in a world where there are no fairy God mothers, magic potions or wand that can make things work for us.
Before triggering off the process of learning how you can make your relationship work, let us get enlightened with the following realities about a relationship.
- The relationship we choose for ourselves, such as a life partner, a friend, lover or adopted issues require constant efforts towards making it last forever.
- No two individuals share the same thoughts, wavelength and response to various situations.
- A relationship is similar to a strong chain. One weak link would break it and a weld would be there forever to remind you of the breakage.
- A relationship is identical to something you purchase after a long yearn. When its new, everything around is pink, a little old one has apprehensions and with the passage of time one tends to concentrate on other new things around.
There are several ways to make a relationship work. However, we can still see thousands of relationship breaking every day. And you would be amazed to learn that 90% of the people involved in these relationships are aware of some of the significant methods to make a relationship work.
Absolutely shocking! Isn't it? But why does it actually happen? Now, stop blaming it on the conventional relationship-souring elements such as ego, distinct natural instincts and elements on the same line for this.
You may blame it on the typical perspective an individual has towards life and the psychological effect the person experiences during a particular event.
These are the crucial elements that need to be tamed and set in order. Some of the major reasons why the 'Eistein Brain' some of us possess, is not able to concoct a formula that can make a relationship work are:
- Time factor: Hey, we are busy! Most of us are too busy to take a nap when our body cries for it, popping in a capsule prescribed by the doctor, putting a slice of vital apple that's lying right in front of us, greeting somebody on a special occasion and so on. Now, this is a crystal clear indication that we don't have time to even think or realize that our relationship is on the rocks! Finding a formula is a far off destination in this regard.
- Life style: We live in a technologically advanced world. Most of us do not have the patience to make a particular thing work. A mobile phone is not working? The solution is to purchase a new one. You find a software program not working for you? Inventing a new one is what you prefer. The new suit you have bought is not fitting well? Leave it try on the old one. We do not have the patience for making something work that has been with us for long.
- Perspectives: Most people feel that a relationship is not worth being in, if one requires putting in consistent efforts to make it work. Strange, but this is true. Hence, most people feel that their relationship is on the rocks even if they require doing a bit of discussions on it.
Prior to learning some of the points that can make your relationship rock; let us understand why we require putting in efforts making it work.
The major reason is the demand of nature. Just have a casual look around you and you would realize that one requires putting in great efforts in to everything present around us. From a non-living element to a plant and an animal, you must work towards everything and if you refuse or resist, life can be hell!
Try sowing a seed in to your garden. Leave it unattended for a few days, 90 percent chances are that it won't grow in to a plant. And even if it does, it would surely die one day. Bring the cutest and costliest puppy in to your home and forget about it. Here you have lost all the money that you spent on buying it. Trust the most technologically advanced gadget you purchase and do not follow the instructions on the purchase or value card. You would lose control over it easily.
Now, do you expect a relationship that you have got in to, after much analyzation and wishes to prosper on its own? If yes, you deserve being a saint.
Refuse giving quality time, fuel, vital sources, novelty and variety to your relationship and it would die just like a plant who is deprived of water, manure, attention and pesticides from time to time. Whereas sincerity, devotion, love and attention would make your relationship bloom as a flower does in the spring.
Things to follow
This is what you must have been waiting for. Sorry for the delay. But the interception before you can reach your destination was extremely necessary. Otherwise, you would have read the points, followed them for a day or two and forgot them after a while. Hasn't this been happening for quite some time, each time you read an article or a journal that preaches you on making a relationship work?
- Efforts: So you have finally found your prince charming or lady love in your life. Remember those days when you used to wait for hours to have a glimpse of your lover and purchase gifts to impress your love. You have now taken every thing for granted once you have him/her in your life. This is the main culprit that intends to kill your relationship. Make efforts to keep your love happy.
- Honesty: Forgot the phrase your teacher taught you in your early school days? Let me remind you of it now "Honesty is the best policy". Being honest to your partner is the foundation of building trust and respect for each other. Are you tired of laying your partner that he/she looks attractive? Tell him/her, the truth for a change. You would love your partner making efforts to make you attract and look appealing for you. Tell, if you have started liking somebody. Believe it; you would be on the ninth cloud to see your partner being jealous and out doing himself/herself to get you back. The key is to be honest.
- Time: You work and your partner work, you visit a parlor and your partner visit a parlor, you shop and your partner does, you cook and your partner decides the menu and at the end of the day, you want to leave the office and hate to work on a Sunday. Why? The answer, would tell you why you must invest quality time in to your relationship. At the end of the day you pine away to be with your partner. The sole motto of most of us accomplishing important tasks during the day is to be with our partner, at the end of the day. If this is so, why don't you desire to be with your partner for the entire day, at least once in a week? Believe me, it works like a miracle.
- Share: Do you still require somebody to share all that you have in your heart? Do you require a person other that your partner to share your failures because you see your ego getting hurt? You don't miss your partner on some of the special events in your life and desire spending them with your friends? There is something wrong with your relationship. Don't get me wrong here. Who doesn't need a friend? Each one of us does. However, when you need them as a replacement for your partner, this is a matter of concern. Share your feelings with your friends, but hey let your partner also know about it. You have the right to celebrate with your friends. However, you must set some limits. There must be certain events, activities and moments that you dedicate to your friends. How about going for an adventure trip with the group, watching a movie, cricket match, attending kitty party, bachelor's party or hiking with your friends? However, make sure you are with your partner on the New Year's Eve, your anniversary, birthdays, picnics, shopping, eating out and Sundays. Is that too much to ask for?
- Surprise elements: Cook something that your partner loves, leave a note under his/her pillow, buy something that he/she has been yearning for a long time, devote a day for him/her, announce an outing as a surprise and you would suddenly find your romance revived.
- Respect each other's values: So you and your partner belong to different religion? Respect the feelings and values that your partner has for his/her religion. Tell him/her for a change that you respect what he/she has been brought up with, for years.
- Sex: How often do you have sex with your partner? Take time for sex in your relationship. Forcing it out won't do. Discuss, talk and sort out if one of you isn't comfortable with the act.
- Fight: Do not stop a fight by saying, "I'm not interested", "I've had enough", "Lets' put it off, for today" and "Lets' not fight over a petty issue honey". Fight, listen, come to a conclusion and make it a point that you kiss and make up at the end of the day.
- Praise: Praise your partner in public and see him/her moist his/her eyes with gratitude. Won't you feel euphoric when your partner is all praises for you in his/her friend circle? Surely you would. Hence, try adopting this method for cementing your relationship.
- Work as a team: Its great fun. Support each other when it comes to financial issues. Discuss your plans, work related issues with your partner. Share all your responsibilities. Believe it, this would make you feel lighter and build your relationship strong as well.
- Stop Guessing: Ask your partner what he/she needs from you to feel loved. Don't guess; because a wrong decision or judgment on your part may hurt you as well as your partner's expectations.
- Straying and apologizing: So, you have unexpectedly got attracted or hooked with this younger, attractive and confident looking colleague in your office. After a while you realize that it was a blunder. Now what? You ask sorry and expect your partner to forgive you, isn't it? However, you don't realize that a bit of straying, fun and enjoyment from your side have made your partner feel extremely hurt. You have made him/her feel that he/she: Is no more attractive
- Is not worthy enough to be with you
- Must be ready for a competition each time you are friendly with someone
- Cannot trust you anymore
- Has lost your love
- Doesn't respect your feelings
- Doesn't stand anywhere near the person you've been linked with
- Has been cheated
- Is dumb and couldn't make what you were doing behind his/her back
Now, is a mere "Sorry" enough for all the above traumatic events you have made your partner encounter with, all alone, while you were having a good time with someone else? No, you must go out of your way to make your relationship work now. Kneel down, shower gifts, get ready for slap or two, listen to all he/she has to say and above all still try to make him/her feel happy. This is the only way to rekindle the respect, trust and love you lost for the blunder you have committed.
Finally, a relationship needs you, your time, attention and everything that's around and within you to make it last long. Value, respect and hold your relationship in high esteem and you would be proud to be in the relationship. Let your friends and people around you turn green with envy to see that you possess the best relationship in the world.
